Since I can attribute all my sappy emotions to post-pregnancy hormones, I'm going to seize this opportunity to write a somewhat sentimental blog.
I've taken to listening to my Ipod on the way to school in a melodramatic attempt to be a loner and sulk over leaving Harper all day by carefully selecting the music that corresponds with my mood. For example, on the first day of leaving Harper I felt especially sad, so naturally I played an Iron & Wine/Bon Iver (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy3lJIxyZ60) mix to really intensify the anguish. On the second day, I was wearing what was, in my opinion, an unusually "cool" outfit that made me feel somewhat attractive and consequently blared Le Tigre (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqhntKPh2EY&feature=fvst) . It really put a skip in my step, if ya know what I mean.
Today on the way to school I was in emotional limbo. I had had a fun morning with Harper (which makes it easier to leave) and was just wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Nothin' too sexy. Correspondingly, I listened to Mason Jennings who really exudes a range of emotions. A real good all arounder. Anyways, I was listening away when "Which Way Your Heart Will Go" came on, a song that I've heard a thousand times. Only this time, it was ripe with meaning and emotion. My eyes welled with tears as I thought of my little family and how much better they are than being a scholar, journalist, rockstar or Olympian. As the school bus (yes, I'm in grad school and take a big yellow bus to class) made its way up the windy road towards campus, all I could think of was the triviality of my academic endeavors and that what really mattered was waiting for me at home. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOiYmEPqBHQ
I think I might tear now. Love you Steph :)
ReplyDeleteYou have realized at a young age what really matters. I promise you that Harper will grow up admiring you for your academic achievements and that Rivers will always appreciate the very special time he got to share with his firstborn while you were at school. You say that I have always given you good advice, so trust me on this one!
ReplyDeleteyeah,trust your sister!Hey--the family is all responding to this.Dave--get on the bandwagon,boy
ReplyDeletesteph- you are amazing and so is your honey! {harper too} i agree with your sister, she is fine and will be a very well adjusted girlie. not to mention the really cool things he will probably teach her. be thankful that tommy is willing to care for and help you with harper, not alot of men help out a little, let alone care for their own child. things will work out and all will be well. so enjoying your blog, you are an amazing writer and pretty funny too. keep the post coming!
ReplyDeleteSteph, I completely understand what you are saying. I am so grateful to have read your post. Sometimes on crazy days when Channing just screams at me all day I think to my self, "Really?? I am the suckiest Mom. What am I doing wrong??" We give him more love than I thought imaginable and he is still mad. :) ha ha. But your post helped remind me that this is the greatest work I could ever be doing. Nothing matters as much as family and the work done in the home.
ReplyDeleteWe love you. We pray for you. We miss you.
Baby Harper has the most interesting expressions...and I love her chubby cheekies! (Erica in ORalndo, FL via Granddad Romney)
ReplyDelete