First is the Worst, Second is the Best, Third is My Rivs so You Betta Recognize.

As Rivers and I sat in the church pews today, I slowly rested my head on his knee and shut my eyes. "I'm tired", I sighed as a pang of guilt simultaneously crept over me. If you're thinking that my feelings of guilt derived from my overtly irreverent display of disinterest at a church service, you would be wrong. The truth is, I was sitting on my lazy butt getting a massage from my husband who happened to have just run a 13 Mile mountain race as I complained of being fatigued. And no, Rivs didn't just run the race. Rivs never just runs, in case you didn't know. Nope, my omni-awesome husband ran off into the sunny peaks of Hawaii's Kualoa mountain range for and hour and twenty minutes to compete in the Xterra Trail Running World Championships. And he came third. That's right, my husband is the third fastest man in the world. Now, some may contest the validity of this claim seeing as no Kenyan, Ethiopian, or non-Western runners competed, by I stand by my man. He was just a couple of minutes behind the reigning champion who happens to be so fast that Montrail modeled a shoe after him. So, that's definitely saying something.

Congratulations Rivers, on being the Third Fastest Human on the planet. Now give me a massage. I'm tired.