Welcome to the Jungle

I've re-emerged from the jungle, and am slowly readjusting back to civilian life. I say slowly because every time Rivers drops a dish in the kitchen, I hide for fear that the FARC guerillas are coming to get me. I'll give a more extensive report of my week-long saga, but for now let's keep the suspense going by saying that I successfully retrieved a team of al-Jazeera reporters from Colombian jail. Oh- and I was killed twice.

To be (very) continued.